The past week has left me broken and shaken out of my comfort zone. There were tears and more tears, doubt, fear and endless questions. I questioned myself and the people around me. There were a lot of ‘whys’ and a lot of heart ache. I felt stranded and so very alone.
But in the end, I knew that I had to let go. I had to learn to fight my own demons, to love myself and to make a change. I didn’t know how I was going to do it for it all seemed too much, too hard. Where do I start?
Until a small voice told me, why not start with something simple? Something that you like. Something that would lift your spirits.
And so this morning I decided bake. But it could not just be any cake. For a simple re-hashing of a cake I had baked before would not be enough. It had to present some sort of challenge, however minute.
Enter the layer cake complete with frosting.
I have always steered clear of such cakes because they seemed so very challenging to this novice baker. And this was no ordinary layer cake. It was a cake by Rose. Anyone who has read her books would be slightly intimidated at the very least. For she goes so very much into detail. Measurements need to be exact. Ingredients need to be top quality. Substitutions were not encouraged…etc… and I have read many a forum where people complain that while her recipes are amazing, they are not always met with success, for you really need to follow it to the T.
Nevertheless I decided that a challenge was in order, even if it was just cake. So I read and re-read the 3 page recipe in detail. Took a deep breath and…go!
The end result?
Pretty amazing I would say. Not perfect. But amazing nonetheless. I do need to work on that frosting just a lil more though (still too runny for my liking). And amazingly, I must admit I was reminded of a few important lessons along the way.
When I first read the recipe, I had thought that it was too complicated and too much work. I had initially let it intimidate me thinking that it was too difficult. I was afraid to fail. But I was determined to bake that cake no matter what.
So, I broke it down and visualized each step. Then I made all the necessary preparations, getting together the ingredients etc and just started it off. I was skeptical about the frosting, for I was afraid of burning it. But I told myelf not to panic and kept my cool.
Finally, when I was almost done, and the cake was baking away beautifully in the oven, I realized, hey this isn’t so hard after all! (the cake probably isn’t but i just thought that it was)
With the confidence in myself renewed somewhat, I knew that things would be ok. The road ahead may seem dark and scary, but I was reminded not to be overwhelmed by the circumstances, to stay calm and not panic (as I am prone to do). There are always things in life that you cannot control. So best to let it go. And instead, make improvements on the things that you can control. Change is a good thing.
And yeah, I’m still a rock star! 
Oh and I do apologize if you came here looking for a german chocolate cake recipe, and instead got this whole mumbo jumbo about change and challenges. But since I’m such a nice person, go here for the recipe with some step by step photos too!
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yea… lingzie, you are still a rock star! gambate
Most of the time, baking and cooking can be very enjoyable and relaxing. I hope you feel better now. Nice cake you’ve baked.
.-= Little Inbox´s last blog ..Vegetable Curry =-.
The cake looks so rich and tempting. I must look for a recipe that can produce something similar like this one.
Looks fantastic. Food really is comforting for the soul!
hey our babe little sister, are you OK?
.-= Big Boys Oven´s last blog ..SAGANO Renaissance Kuala Lumpur Hotel MIGF =-.
That’s right, you rock! The cake looks amazing… and it has magical faith-restoring powers! What else can anyone want from a chocolate cake??!
.-= 550ml jar of faith´s last blog ..Birthday Treats, Courtesy of Joshua’s First! =-.
hope you’re feeling better after that
.-= NKOTB´s last blog ..Home Style Restaurant ???? =-.
Rock star sister, do have faith in the path you walk.
.-= ck lam´s last blog ..Tai Zi Heen, Prince Hotel & Residence – Malaysia International Gourmet Festival 2009 =-.
sometimes we resist change, that’s why we feel suffering when changes hits right in the face. So yea…let go!
Hope you are better now rock star~!!
Hey Lingzie, hope you are ok and doing fine now. The cake look so yummy. Can I have a bite, rock star? *wink*
.-= allie´s last blog ..Thian Hoe Restaurant at Gurun =-.
wei wei, can i get a peice from you ah..looks good neh`
.-= taufulou´s last blog ..Yishensu, A Vegetarian Connoisseur @ 1-Utama =-.
lingzie is a rockstar! hehe when are u gonna blog abt the Singapore pig-out?
.-= ladyironchef´s last blog ..Wah Lok II: I reckon you need some dim sum =-.
thank you everyone for your words of encouragement!
~hugs~
.-= lingzie´s last blog ..Lessons on life from a German Chocolate Cake =-.
Thanks for sharing a little of your life with us. I hope you can break down and visualize each step of your recovery from whatever it is that had shaken you.
.-= Nate´s last blog ..Microwaved Cabbage and Carrot, a Bachelor’s Tale =-.
Hats off to you, Lingzie. Not every1 can turn life’s greatest challenge around and stare it right in the face, saying “Nah! I bake cake and show you! That I am unfazed by your crap!”
Keep soldering on, and keep up the great job with your blogging. I’ve always enjoyed reading your gems.
.-= Eleen´s last blog ..An emo, non-substance post =-.
It’s a matter of whether or not you want or don’t want to take actions… not a matter of can or cannot.
Yes.. Ganbatte, lingzie!
.-= gina´s last blog ..Hangzhou at Night =-.
I followed a link from the Heavenly Cake Baker (blog) that brought me here. I’m not a professional baker, but as a hobby have been baking German Chocolate Cakes now for many years. When i saw the pictures of your version, I have to say how much I loved the way you did your frosting. I understand that you think you made some mistake, but in this I see a different look for this cake. One that is lighter, slightly redefined. I could totally see it presented this way (on purpose) maybe even with individually baked cakes (from the same recipe). I just wanted say how I loved seeing it this way and reading your post. It’s giving me ideas . . . .
thank you so much for your kind words kim!! i’m thrilled that its giving you ideas