The past week has left me broken and shaken out of my comfort zone. There were tears and more tears, doubt, fear and endless questions. I questioned myself and the people around me. There were a lot of ‘whys’ and a lot of heart ache. I felt stranded and so very alone.
But in the end, I knew that I had to let go. I had to learn to fight my own demons, to love myself and to make a change. I didn’t know how I was going to do it for it all seemed too much, too hard. Where do I start?
Until a small voice told me, why not start with something simple? Something that you like. Something that would lift your spirits.
And so this morning I decided bake. But it could not just be any cake. For a simple re-hashing of a cake I had baked before would not be enough. It had to present some sort of challenge, however minute.
Enter the layer cake complete with frosting.
I have always steered clear of such cakes because they seemed so very challenging to this novice baker. And this was no ordinary layer cake. It was a cake by Rose. Anyone who has read her books would be slightly intimidated at the very least. For she goes so very much into detail. Measurements need to be exact. Ingredients need to be top quality. Substitutions were not encouraged…etc… and I have read many a forum where people complain that while her recipes are amazing, they are not always met with success, for you really need to follow it to the T.
Nevertheless I decided that a challenge was in order, even if it was just cake. So I read and re-read the 3 page recipe in detail. Took a deep breath and…go!
The end result?
Pretty amazing I would say. Not perfect. But amazing nonetheless. I do need to work on that frosting just a lil more though (still too runny for my liking). And amazingly, I must admit I was reminded of a few important lessons along the way.
When I first read the recipe, I had thought that it was too complicated and too much work. I had initially let it intimidate me thinking that it was too difficult. I was afraid to fail. But I was determined to bake that cake no matter what.
So, I broke it down and visualized each step. Then I made all the necessary preparations, getting together the ingredients etc and just started it off. I was skeptical about the frosting, for I was afraid of burning it. But I told myelf not to panic and kept my cool.
Finally, when I was almost done, and the cake was baking away beautifully in the oven, I realized, hey this isn’t so hard after all! (the cake probably isn’t but i just thought that it was)
With the confidence in myself renewed somewhat, I knew that things would be ok. The road ahead may seem dark and scary, but I was reminded not to be overwhelmed by the circumstances, to stay calm and not panic (as I am prone to do). There are always things in life that you cannot control. So best to let it go. And instead, make improvements on the things that you can control. Change is a good thing.
And yeah, I’m still a rock star! 😛
Oh and I do apologize if you came here looking for a german chocolate cake recipe, and instead got this whole mumbo jumbo about change and challenges. But since I’m such a nice person, go here for the recipe with some step by step photos too!